The Heart Institute emailed to say that I was getting postponed again. Disappointing to get this message by email.

Not enough intensive care beds it seems because of the pressure of COVID cases. I get it.

I do get it. Many are suffering and need help like me. It’s the mental pressure now on us all that’s almost as bad as the pain.

We were kind of prepared for the surgery last this week and now the uncertainty is back.

It’s hurting more than ever at times. Stops me dead in my tracks sometimes. I can’t hide the pain from my wife, not that I want to but it’s just my way of helping us both get through this.

It’s the not knowing that both of us struggle with.

The Institute said that I have to wait for three weeks, partly because of the ICU beds and then because my surgeon is away on vacation.

I explained to them that I don’t think I can wait that long given my worsening condition and thankfully I now have a time at the end of the week but with a different surgeon.

They say it is unlikely that I will bumped again…I really want to face this now and get to done.