A personal journey
Counting the days
I have seven days until my operation
Maybe only twelve before I should be back home recovering. They say it’s usually a week before you are discharged. Two days in intensive care and then the rest of the time on the ward.
It seems to be betting harder every day now and hurts a lot when I get tired at the end of the day.
Feeling depressed with how restricting it is and with not being able to do a normal day and help around the house or pick up groceries.
Also I am feeling unfit again. I’m not getting enough exercise given that I have to be so cautious on the level and frequency of exercising.
Guilty
I feel so guilty all of the time, as the way I am is always putting a damper on the mood of our precious family times. My wife and kids look so worried all of the time and forever telling me to rest and take it easy. I love them for that but I feel like I’m losing my dignity with how little I can actually do now.
It’s going to be fine…
Everyone says I’m going to be much better afterwards and that I’m going to a great hospital to have it done.
I can’t stop thinking now of the prospect of having my rib cage opened up and parts of my heart rewired. It’s what needs to happen but still,
It doesn’t sound that great…