I am writing this on my last weekend before I return to work after three months off recovering from a quadruple heart bypass.
I can actually say that for the most part I have no pain at the moment. I am able to move freely and without restriction and I am back to being able to do normal stuff around the house again - at last!
This may sound strange but it’s like being reborn or as though I’ve purchased and just installed an upgrade package for my mind and body.
For those of you that might be reading this and about to start on a your own heart bypass journey, I can now say, with first hand experience, to keep your faith and be optimistic as there is light at the end of the tunnel. And it shines so much brighter than you’ve known before!
So I am going back to work and to a job (An Architect and Senior Business Leader) that I now know has historically brought me stress and I am sure has contributed to my past heart issues and critical illness. I have never had the level of clarity that I now have to be able to directly connect or relate aspects of my life to my health. It’s almost like I am looking at myself from the outside where all these things are plainly obvious.
So I am going to keep this new perception and clarity as part of my daily toolkit to manage my stress and together with my new mantra to live in the moment, I am going back to enjoy my work like I used to when I first became an Architect. It’s been a while...
I am lucky
I am lucky to go back to a group of people at my workplace who have held the fort and carried on, in difficult circumstances, in my absence. I am so grateful that many of those important people to me and my business, will still be there on Monday. I know from some of the messages I have had over the last several weeks, that some will be pleased that I am back. That doesn’t often happen for a boss in my experience.
I am now ready to go back and support those people and their loyalty but in a different and hopefully better way that can truly make a difference to them as individuals and in the way that we work together.
One person, who invested time with me that I will forever be grateful, said this of me,
“You are not your circumstances”
I now understand what this means for me like never before and I believe it now so that I will be able to use it to help me through the challenges and pressures that I will face in my position.
And to my wife who has supported me unconditionally through one of the hardest times in our marriage as we went through the uncertainly of major heart surgery, I remain forever grateful but feel on top of the world that I have found such a special person to spend my life with.
And to her, I promise this...
I promise that I will do my best to continue with all the positives that my surgery has brought to us; to stay true to my changed character and temperament that I have re-learnt again from not having the pain and restrictions in my heart; and to keep all of the new challenges that I will be facing in perspective for how important that really are and in the interests of my health and our life together.
Thank you for reading this,
Wish me luck.